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When I get asked about my favorite superheroes, I’ve got my top three- Nightwing, Batman, Superman. All men. All DC. I’m predictable, I guess. But the past few months, a name gets tossed around, and my friends are always surprised I don’t name her in my top three… But Wonder Woman just isn’t a hero I’m down for.

Don’t get me wrong. I adore Wonder Woman. She’s so precious. She has a naiveté that, when combined with her extensive combat training, makes her both relatable and someone to idolize. She’s a walking contradiction- but aren’t we all? Sometimes, in comics, we get to see Diana Prince as this contradiction. We see her finding joy in small things- ice cream, lizards, the company of children, like the little girl at a wedding in Wonder Women #26. We also see her fierce and terrifying side, as evidenced by Wonder Woman #27, as she protects the guests at that wedding after a bomb is triggered at the celebration. Her overwhelming anger at someone mulling the sanctity of celebration and ritual is a perfect example of her contradiction. It’s understandable, it’s relatable. It’s why people love her.

But my problem with Wonder Woman lies in the hands of men. Two men, in particular; Batman and Superman, two of my favorites. Because of them, I struggle to see all Diana has to offer.

DC comics has what’s known as the Trinity. The Trinity is Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.

All the other heroes follow the leads of these three. They dictate the progression of story and support, in any version of a world. DC also has what’s called the Multiverse, or the idea that these heroes exist past the confines of the particular world they live in. They live within a multitude of worlds, and each version of Earth has been altered by specific decisions and choices, often centering around the Trinity. Each version of the Trinity normally has the same or similar moral codes, ideologies, and powers- both in the Meta-human sense as well as the socioeconomic sense. What tends to change between Earths is The Trinity’s relationships.

Batman- or Bruce Wayne- really don’t have an iconic romantic counterpart. His defined relationships aren’t from rescuing a damsel in distress and her falling in love with the Dark Knight. Instead, most of the relationships that define Batman are with the Robins. We see Batman’s foil in Dick Grayson, his original light-hearted partner. We see grief, guilt, and loss with the death and revival of the second Robin, Jason Todd. We see Batman matched intellectually in Tim Drake, who also shows us about how Batman has grown more comfortable accepting support and help from others. Finally, we watch as Batman learns the most important part of parenthood- you know nothing- as he takes on the full father figure role with his biological son, Damian Wayne. When we see Batman rushing to save someone, it’s normally a Robin, leaving very little need for a romantic interest.

Romantically, Batman has two solid love interests. Talia al Ghul, the mother of Damian Wayne, used Batman to have a child without his consent of knowledge. So, romance wise, she’s not the best example. Catwoman is who people often think of as Batman’s love interest, especially post Christopher Nolan Trilogy. Batman’s ethical guidelines allow him to alternately punish or partner with those who have done wrong. He sees things from varying points of gray- not all villains are evil. Sometimes they’re just people who’ve had one bad day. On the other hand, Diana, because of her sheltered nature and war based upbringing, sees things very black-and-white. She sees things in terms of war-or-no-war. This conflict is great in stories, but asking either character to alter or understand the other’s moral code is pretty out of character for both. They take their roles in justice incredibly seriously, and attempting to foster a romantic relationship between such intense beliefs just doesn’t make sense to me. By forcing Diana into a romantic viewpoint with Bruce, it removes her from her self-direction. It forces her into a role filled by the robins or a “gray” villain. And part of Wonder Woman’s appeal is her self-confidence and leadership abilities. Regulating her to a step behind Batman does nothing to help those abilities.

Wonder Woman’s abilities is part of what makes her a romantic interest to Superman. Her physical strength, her own sense of “other worldliness”, her desire for justice, acceptance, and equality, are all things Superman relates to and stands for. As a romantic couple, they’re very logical. However, Superman’s love interest is probably one of the most recognizable duos in the universe. Clark Kent and Superman find their humanity in Lois Lane. Lois provides Superman with his connection to Earth, in a way that his parents can’t. He finds the reason to protect the world in the joys he finds with Lois, both romantically and platonically. If Lois is removed, Superman loses his link to humanity. He becomes far less relatable. In a way, it makes him terrifyingly alien. In the Elseworlds Injustice arc, Superman accidently kills Lois, their unborn baby, and most of Metropolis. He loses it, and basically becomes a superpowered dictator. Diana aggressively pursues him, losing most of her compassion and understanding. Luckily, it’s a what-if storyline, but still. It changed how I perceived her. In that arc, she showed very little emotion and seemed to push Clark past his breaking points. That bit me in the butt for the 2011 run of Justice League (#12), which finally saw Superman and Diana together in a canon sense. While the set-up is logical- both have powers, just experienced a traumatic event and coping in a world not their own- the execution feels wrong. Mostly because I don’t want to see Diana with an equal in power. I want her to have an equal in soul. I want her to have an equal in heart.

The Diana I want to see exists. There’s no doubt about that. She exists every time someone watched the commercial of the little boy trick-or-treating as Wonder Woman. She exists every time someone buys a ticket to the Wonder Woman movie. And she exists every time Gal Gadot opens her mouth (and social media pages) to support those she feels have been mistreated.

So, there’s hope for Wonder Woman for me. Maybe, if we keep getting to see her develop as a person before she develops a romance, I won’t be able to list my top three anymore…. I’ll just have a bunch of feelings about Superheroes.

*Note: This was all written before I’ve seen Justice League. I’ve attempted to stay spoiler-free, so I may have an angry word post on Friday morning.