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Dear Chris Mckay,

When DC announced Nightwing would be potentially coming to the DCEU (DC Expanded Universe), I decided not to hold my breath. Not one of the major superheroes, I knew that he would wind up on a shelf somewhere. Then we got a director. And rumors of casting. And now I realize that maybe I do need to hold my breath.

Dick Grayson- Nightwing- is Batman’s original Robin. But after he outgrew that, he took on the persona of Nightwing.

When I read comics with Grayson as the main character- whether it be Robin, Nightwing, or his turn as Batman- I rely on his optimism and compassion for guidance. Grayson takes his brushes with death, his grief and anger, and he handles it in a relatable way. Sometimes he storms out. He loses his temper. He hits. He cries. He screams. He grapples with regret and disappointment and blame. But the most important thing that he does that I try to emulate is that he doesn’t do it alone. He relies on Bruce Wayne, Alfred, the other Robins, the Teen Titans, and other heroes. He recognizes the importance of support systems. He reminds me that no matter how alone you feel, there’s so many people who want to help you. And those people are the ones you fight for. Nightwing fights to honor his friends. He finds comfort and joy in the act of protection. Batman finds solace in his battle.

Batman is too dark for me. As someone who deals with depression and self-image issues, Batman’s a really sucky role model. He exhibits some of the worst personality traits I recognize in myself. He’s obsessive to the point of single mindedness. He’s short tempered and surprisingly physical for a man claiming to abhor violence. He hates asking for help, even when he desperately needs it. He alienates and disparages those around him because he’s erected emotional walls to keep people from pointing out these traits to him. Richard Grayson has every reason to exhibit the same destructive patterns as Batman. But instead, he embraces the aspects of his sorrow that Bruce Wayne denied. Part of that is because Bruce took him in, but Grayson’s personality also lends itself to better coping mechanisms. While I see shame in the traits Bruce Wayne and I share, I see Dick Grayson as who I aspire to be.

“We’re not defined by our tragedies or our turning points. We’re defined by the choices we make in the face of them. We’re defined by how we choose to react to being challenged. And in a place like [this] the only thing you can really count on, is that there will always be something to challenge you.”

Nightwing, 2011 issue 7

This drawing was done for me by Uncanny Comics. It hangs next to my bed so I remind myself to get out of bed and face my challenges, even when it feels impossible.

I don’t want solace. I want joy.

I want the laughter and jokes and light. I want the bad puns, the goofiness, the inside jokes, everything that makes Dick Grayson unique. And when it comes down to his movie, I don’t want to watch yet another origin story. Because this means more than any other superhero story does to me. Because right now, I’m depressed. I’m struggling to figure out where to go next, what to do and who I am.

At the heart of his story, Dick Grayson is the only superhero to face those same issues. He changes his whole identity, but doesn’t end up losing himself or where he came from. Right now, he’s my hero. Not because of the spandex and finger stripes, but because of his normality. He’s a normal guy in abnormal circumstances. Don’t forget that.

But as time goes, and we hear more of your plans, I breathe a little better. Because you seem to love him as much as I do, sir. Don’t lose sight of him. Action and heart. Real. Skills. Don’t make a movie about a superhero. Make a movie about a boy becoming who he’s meant to be.

Remember a girl who laid in bed reading his story, and finding hope when she thought she had none left. Make that movie. When they try to market it, tell them it’s your most anticipated film. Because it’s my most anticipated film.

I’ll be holding my breath. But I’m not sure I need to.

Meg